Ich liebe es

Its been sometime since i penned down something. To be honest i was just not in a state of mind to pen things down. Sometimes on the top of the world elated and most times just feeling under the weather. As part of a work assignment i have shifted to the Europe's strongest economy Germany. I have been in germany for almost 1 year now and there have been good and bad days.

The first 5 months were not very good if it comes to my gay life.  I was dating someone back in india but things became difficult after my move and eventually it ended. German guys did not seem to be interested in average Indian guy. I was not expecting much footfalls on my profile since it did not attract much traction in India either but one do likes to dream ! I am someone who enjoys softer things in intimacy and without an emotional connection i just cannot share a bed with someone. Or at least i used to think so ! As result of these self imposed guidelines my dating life has not been exciting. I got to meet 2 guys during the first 5 months and it did not develop beyond a casual meet. I was fortunate enough to make an indian friend in a land a bit far but still it gave something to look forward to. Through him i met a German-Dutch gay couple who have been together for almost 25 years and it really made me elated to have such an acquaintance and it just reinforced my believe in gay relationships. Finding that special someone who you would spend your life with has always been one of my dreams. I think even more than having a career which has not done good for my career prospects of course.  Unfortunately finding someone like that in India has been just a wild goose chase. I had thought maybe it would be a different story in Germany but things never work out the way you want them to.

At the beginning of this year i moved to a smaller city in germany and my expectations were quiet low but i have been pleasantly surprised. I got to me meet some very good human beings who have helped me grow from strength to strength. I used to be a very prude person , i remember not even able to say cock or dick when talking with someone, i just found it beneath my dignity (i know i was that prude :P ) but meeting people here had made me more open up. I shared such good memories with them without having the feeling to be clingy to each other and forcing restrictions on each other, it  has been quiet a revelation. I never thought i could share such intimate feelings without having the tag "boyfriend" associated with it but i am glad i could which has given me the gift of having to know some very inspiring people. I still believe in commitment , fidelity and partner for life but i am more relaxed when meeting men and not constantly thinking where will things lead to. Although sometimes things to get to me but i try to remember the good times i have had and be thankful for them. So Ich liebe es (I am loving it) for now.

A a big thank you to friends in Offenbach, Vienna , Darmstadt, Frankfurt, whom i have met and have made open up from my cacoon.

How has your journey been so far for in finding that special someone i would like to know your stories. Feel free the comment section to share your stories if you would like to.

What would you do ?

Its been sometime since i have posted something here, mostly the reason in laziness and a whole lot of emotions i have been going through lately. I am currently living in a European city for couple of months and things have been very different and interesting. I will post about my experiences in a later post though. This post is about a US tv show i came across on YouTube. Its called "What Would You Do ?"

The show basically creates an uncomfortable situation in a restaurant or a public space and observes how the people around react to it. Some episodes are related to attitude towards gay people. One of the episode which really touched my heart i would like to share with everyone. 

I cannot imagine people standing up for gay people in india but attitudes in Europe and America are obviously different. Being in the European city, I  myself  have taken some liberties of my own, kissing a guy on a bus stop or holding hands in a restaurant and i was very comfortable doing that without being stared at or at least i didn't even take care to notice if anyone was staring since i was just enjoying this freedom :). So my question to you reading this would be. WHAT WOULD YOU DO ? if you encounter a similar scenario. Use the comment section if you would like to share your thoughts or just think about it.

My personal thoughts, a couple of months back i would have probably kept mum and would not have interfered but now i think i am stronger i would for sure stand up for someone undergoing such heat.

CSB and Me

It was just by accident that i stumbled across this amazing creation "Crazy Sam's Bloginess" and needless to say i was hooked. I don't mean drop in once in a while to check the updates kind of hooked, it was more like can't complete my day without a bit of crazy sam hooked. I remember waiting eagerly to get to back from work so that i could dive into one of sam's creations.Since i had a lot of posts from the past to catch up on i could satisfy my hunger for a couple of days and then came the wait for that next update. Oh i would check again and again for new updates sometimes even from work where social sites like blogs are strictly prohibited.

I could easily connect to sam's post since it came from a voice which i totally identified with. Being from the same region and having similar roots with sam sort of made me feel closer to him and his way of putting down things, not just making the content relevant but to have it appealing to the reader was just mesmerizing. The wide plethora of things available on CSB made it no less than any magazine. It was my 'Cosmopolitan' you may say :) Reading through sam's experiences at times made me feel secure assuring me that i am not the  alone in this homophobic world and there is always hope out there. I even turned sam for advice , i don't know if sam remembers this but i had once even written to him asking for some advice for a friend for which i didn't think that i would get a reply because you know i thought he had better things to do ! But i did get some very wise words and it just made my connection even stronger with CSB. CSB gave me a reason to cheer every single time i read any post. A reason to rejoice that being gay was normal and i was not alone in this world. It also provided me a lot of information on

I remember one time sam announced he was gonna close down the blog and i was just so devastated but thankfully sam changed his mind and my world was safe again ! After travelling with CSB through gigabytes of information regarding gay culture, issues, experiences i just felt so jubilant and re-energized.I has so respect for sam that i had out him up on a pedestal and kind of worshiped him, I once got the opportunity to chat with sam and i realized that how down to earth he actually is. He is a gay guy just like me having problems like any other gay guy and facing the world on his terms.I remember him saying 'I am just like any other guy'. This conversation just inspired me a lot. I told myself i also need to try blogging and have my expressions laid out for the world to observer. I knew i would never match up to CSB but i knew i had to give it a shot and so i started blogging myself.

CSB is celebrating 5 years now !! All the best to sam and keep it rocking !
  

Random Act Of Kindness

I have to admit i am not much of a person who loves kids. I prefer to admire the cuteness of a child from a distance. Having said that i wont say i don't have parental instincts, i would love to be a father someday, shoulder the amazing responsibility of this amazing life, to keep this life before yours and give it all the love and care. Still at the moment it seems far fetched , i think i am more self obsessed currently. So why am i talking about kids all of a sudden, well the a month back i came in touch with an NGO which works with kids.I got intrigued as it aligns you (as a donor) to a single child to whom your contributions are directed for, it was just a random act of kindness, I did my bit and i got details of my child (figuratively speaking).

Her name is Mary, she is a slum kid from the town of Vishakapatnam, India.Her father a day labor and her mother picks rags for a living.They have problems making ends meet.Even putting food on the table is an enormous task for them let alone afford education. Even clean clothes are a luxury.It just made me realize how blessed my childhood was, my family was able to provide me all the basic needs but still i used to crib about things i did not have. One needs to be thankful for the things one has !

The organization keeps you updated about the activities of the child and making sure the donations are put to good use. Yesterday i got an update from the child herself some drawings she made. It just made me so emotional for a bit. I just felt so connected to her in that moment, i just can't describe in words. It was just a feeling out of the world and to think it was just a random act of kindness !

I would urge whoever is reading this to do a random act of kindness and feel the feeling yourself. 

Beware of Dog

We all have came across people who deceive us, cheat on us, abuse us. How many of them do you get back at ? Or you just move on and forgive them ? I personally am more on the forgiving or at least moving on side but somethings can't just be overlooked.

So on this new year's eve i had a bad experience and i couldn't do much to actually get back at the guy who made me go through the embarrassment. In order to avoid anyone else from going through the same i would like to put up that horrible guy's picture here. I know this is mean but he deserves it !

The man in the picture usually goes by the name Shekku on planetromeo.com

Resides in the east area of Delhi.

Speaks proficient English.

And 

Steals stuff when your attention is diverted !

I Swear ...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Opening Up !

Indian conservative society sure seems to be opening up to new horizons. I recently saw this ad in few of the leading dailies in India, It was hilarious, provocative and off course appealing to me as a gay guy, i mean why not it had well chiseled men in it.Although some call it obscene and vulgar, i just think it was funny and need to be taken in that stride. Which section of  consumers is this ad targeted ? I am still not sure but as a gay man i sure enjoy my eye candy ;) .

The striking down of 377 by Delhi high court sure was a landmark judgement and after that the society sure seems to be more tolerant. I agree we still have a long way to go to be accepted in the society but at least we don't have to live in fear now. Another news which made me all joyful was  'I am' winning the national award. Its based on one of the people who i admire the most, Harish Iyer. Vidya Balan was also decorated with the award for Best Actor (female) another personality i am in love with.

The movie by Onir who has made sensible movies related to gay issues like 'My brother nikhil', and I am consisting of four stories with one being related to gay issue just goes out to show that even Indian Cinema is acknowledging the gay presence. I came across the following news as well which opens up another shirt's button worn by society, so to speak ;). A mall exclusively for transgenders, wow that's bold ! 

http://www.hindustantimes.com/Entertainment/Tabloid/Now-a-mall-only-for-transgenders/Article1-822941.aspx

Well those were the candies now for the cough syrup, i did come across the following article as well regarding a bunch of religious extremists and so called moral police challenging the Delhi Court's reading down of 377.

http://www.dnaindia.com/lifestyle/report_whats-hiv-got-to-do-with-homosexuality_1663790

India which sure is a land of paradox what does the gay culture has in-store god only knows but here's hoping a brighter future.