Saturday, August 31, 2013

Ich liebe es

Its been sometime since i penned down something. To be honest i was just not in a state of mind to pen things down. Sometimes on the top of the world elated and most times just feeling under the weather. As part of a work assignment i have shifted to the Europe's strongest economy Germany. I have been in germany for almost 1 year now and there have been good and bad days.

The first 5 months were not very good if it comes to my gay life.  I was dating someone back in india but things became difficult after my move and eventually it ended. German guys did not seem to be interested in average Indian guy. I was not expecting much footfalls on my profile since it did not attract much traction in India either but one do likes to dream ! I am someone who enjoys softer things in intimacy and without an emotional connection i just cannot share a bed with someone. Or at least i used to think so ! As result of these self imposed guidelines my dating life has not been exciting. I got to meet 2 guys during the first 5 months and it did not develop beyond a casual meet. I was fortunate enough to make an indian friend in a land a bit far but still it gave something to look forward to. Through him i met a German-Dutch gay couple who have been together for almost 25 years and it really made me elated to have such an acquaintance and it just reinforced my believe in gay relationships. Finding that special someone who you would spend your life with has always been one of my dreams. I think even more than having a career which has not done good for my career prospects of course.  Unfortunately finding someone like that in India has been just a wild goose chase. I had thought maybe it would be a different story in Germany but things never work out the way you want them to.

At the beginning of this year i moved to a smaller city in germany and my expectations were quiet low but i have been pleasantly surprised. I got to me meet some very good human beings who have helped me grow from strength to strength. I used to be a very prude person , i remember not even able to say cock or dick when talking with someone, i just found it beneath my dignity (i know i was that prude :P ) but meeting people here had made me more open up. I shared such good memories with them without having the feeling to be clingy to each other and forcing restrictions on each other, it  has been quiet a revelation. I never thought i could share such intimate feelings without having the tag "boyfriend" associated with it but i am glad i could which has given me the gift of having to know some very inspiring people. I still believe in commitment , fidelity and partner for life but i am more relaxed when meeting men and not constantly thinking where will things lead to. Although sometimes things to get to me but i try to remember the good times i have had and be thankful for them. So Ich liebe es (I am loving it) for now.

A a big thank you to friends in Offenbach, Vienna , Darmstadt, Frankfurt, whom i have met and have made open up from my cacoon.

How has your journey been so far for in finding that special someone i would like to know your stories. Feel free the comment section to share your stories if you would like to.

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