Friday, April 4, 2014

377 not just another number

11 December 2013  : A sad day for Indian judiciary and indian LGBTQ community when the highest court in country set aside a ruling Section 377 of Indian Law which criminalizes sex "against the order of nature" including homosexual acts. My personal reaction was being heartbroken and loosing all hopes for being an out and proud gay man in my own country. I thank the friend(s) who did give me some support and advised not to give up. What surprised me however was the reaction of newspapers and media after the verdict. With debates and editorials showing support for the LGBTQ community and strongly criticizing the supreme court verdict. 

What was even more surprising was even some politicians coming in support for the LGBTQ community who usually shy away from addressing such issues. One might say that the politicians who did come in support are eying the general elections and trying to woo the LGBTQ community for the same. But lets look at the facts now :

1. The supreme court has tossed the ball in the court of parliament for repelling the section 377 and most politicians don't find the issue of gay rights commendable enough to be given any heed. 
2. The current ruling party which has come in support for reviewing the law is bound to be outvoted next year in elections.
3. The review petition being submitted was reviewed by supreme court and like majority of the review petition it was rejected by the court.
4. The  party which is projected to come to power next year is against reviewing the law and supports that homosexuality should be criminalized.
5. A recent news announced that the Chief Justice of India will allow curative petition against the ruling in open court rather than in private chambers which is a ray of hope for the LGBTQ community.

In view of these facts I personally feel that we as a LGBTQ community will have to fight more rigorously for our rights. A big hurdle i find is to change the perspective of the society at large against the LGBTQ rights, which is ignorant and mostly hostile. It is only when the larger society finds that how many us are out there and realize that it's not about just sex that we can fight for our rights better. For this to happen everyone has to realize that we need to come out of the closet. I know many people argue that one's sexual preference should be a private matter but we do have to realize only by coming out can we as a community can fight this battle. 

I have been doing my small part by coming out to friends and colleagues and the reactions have been very positive. I urge fellow queerions to come out and show our strength in numbers, at gay events, gay prides marches and at root level trying to educate the people around you.

As india goes to elections soon it is encouraging to see parties including gay rights and 377 in their election manifesto. It will be very interesting to see how the results turn out , we have to wait till May 16 and see.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Ich liebe es

Its been sometime since i penned down something. To be honest i was just not in a state of mind to pen things down. Sometimes on the top of the world elated and most times just feeling under the weather. As part of a work assignment i have shifted to the Europe's strongest economy Germany. I have been in germany for almost 1 year now and there have been good and bad days.

The first 5 months were not very good if it comes to my gay life.  I was dating someone back in india but things became difficult after my move and eventually it ended. German guys did not seem to be interested in average Indian guy. I was not expecting much footfalls on my profile since it did not attract much traction in India either but one do likes to dream ! I am someone who enjoys softer things in intimacy and without an emotional connection i just cannot share a bed with someone. Or at least i used to think so ! As result of these self imposed guidelines my dating life has not been exciting. I got to meet 2 guys during the first 5 months and it did not develop beyond a casual meet. I was fortunate enough to make an indian friend in a land a bit far but still it gave something to look forward to. Through him i met a German-Dutch gay couple who have been together for almost 25 years and it really made me elated to have such an acquaintance and it just reinforced my believe in gay relationships. Finding that special someone who you would spend your life with has always been one of my dreams. I think even more than having a career which has not done good for my career prospects of course.  Unfortunately finding someone like that in India has been just a wild goose chase. I had thought maybe it would be a different story in Germany but things never work out the way you want them to.

At the beginning of this year i moved to a smaller city in germany and my expectations were quiet low but i have been pleasantly surprised. I got to me meet some very good human beings who have helped me grow from strength to strength. I used to be a very prude person , i remember not even able to say cock or dick when talking with someone, i just found it beneath my dignity (i know i was that prude :P ) but meeting people here had made me more open up. I shared such good memories with them without having the feeling to be clingy to each other and forcing restrictions on each other, it  has been quiet a revelation. I never thought i could share such intimate feelings without having the tag "boyfriend" associated with it but i am glad i could which has given me the gift of having to know some very inspiring people. I still believe in commitment , fidelity and partner for life but i am more relaxed when meeting men and not constantly thinking where will things lead to. Although sometimes things to get to me but i try to remember the good times i have had and be thankful for them. So Ich liebe es (I am loving it) for now.

A a big thank you to friends in Offenbach, Vienna , Darmstadt, Frankfurt, whom i have met and have made open up from my cacoon.

How has your journey been so far for in finding that special someone i would like to know your stories. Feel free the comment section to share your stories if you would like to.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

What would you do ?

Its been sometime since i have posted something here, mostly the reason in laziness and a whole lot of emotions i have been going through lately. I am currently living in a European city for couple of months and things have been very different and interesting. I will post about my experiences in a later post though. This post is about a US tv show i came across on YouTube. Its called "What Would You Do ?"

The show basically creates an uncomfortable situation in a restaurant or a public space and observes how the people around react to it. Some episodes are related to attitude towards gay people. One of the episode which really touched my heart i would like to share with everyone. 

I cannot imagine people standing up for gay people in india but attitudes in Europe and America are obviously different. Being in the European city, I  myself  have taken some liberties of my own, kissing a guy on a bus stop or holding hands in a restaurant and i was very comfortable doing that without being stared at or at least i didn't even take care to notice if anyone was staring since i was just enjoying this freedom :). So my question to you reading this would be. WHAT WOULD YOU DO ? if you encounter a similar scenario. Use the comment section if you would like to share your thoughts or just think about it.

My personal thoughts, a couple of months back i would have probably kept mum and would not have interfered but now i think i am stronger i would for sure stand up for someone undergoing such heat.

Friday, November 9, 2012

CSB and Me

It was just by accident that i stumbled across this amazing creation "Crazy Sam's Bloginess" and needless to say i was hooked. I don't mean drop in once in a while to check the updates kind of hooked, it was more like can't complete my day without a bit of crazy sam hooked. I remember waiting eagerly to get to back from work so that i could dive into one of sam's creations.Since i had a lot of posts from the past to catch up on i could satisfy my hunger for a couple of days and then came the wait for that next update. Oh i would check again and again for new updates sometimes even from work where social sites like blogs are strictly prohibited.

I could easily connect to sam's post since it came from a voice which i totally identified with. Being from the same region and having similar roots with sam sort of made me feel closer to him and his way of putting down things, not just making the content relevant but to have it appealing to the reader was just mesmerizing. The wide plethora of things available on CSB made it no less than any magazine. It was my 'Cosmopolitan' you may say :) Reading through sam's experiences at times made me feel secure assuring me that i am not the  alone in this homophobic world and there is always hope out there. I even turned sam for advice , i don't know if sam remembers this but i had once even written to him asking for some advice for a friend for which i didn't think that i would get a reply because you know i thought he had better things to do ! But i did get some very wise words and it just made my connection even stronger with CSB. CSB gave me a reason to cheer every single time i read any post. A reason to rejoice that being gay was normal and i was not alone in this world. It also provided me a lot of information on

I remember one time sam announced he was gonna close down the blog and i was just so devastated but thankfully sam changed his mind and my world was safe again ! After travelling with CSB through gigabytes of information regarding gay culture, issues, experiences i just felt so jubilant and re-energized.I has so respect for sam that i had out him up on a pedestal and kind of worshiped him, I once got the opportunity to chat with sam and i realized that how down to earth he actually is. He is a gay guy just like me having problems like any other gay guy and facing the world on his terms.I remember him saying 'I am just like any other guy'. This conversation just inspired me a lot. I told myself i also need to try blogging and have my expressions laid out for the world to observer. I knew i would never match up to CSB but i knew i had to give it a shot and so i started blogging myself.

CSB is celebrating 5 years now !! All the best to sam and keep it rocking !

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Random Act Of Kindness

I have to admit i am not much of a person who loves kids. I prefer to admire the cuteness of a child from a distance. Having said that i wont say i don't have parental instincts, i would love to be a father someday, shoulder the amazing responsibility of this amazing life, to keep this life before yours and give it all the love and care. Still at the moment it seems far fetched , i think i am more self obsessed currently. So why am i talking about kids all of a sudden, well the a month back i came in touch with an NGO which works with kids.I got intrigued as it aligns you (as a donor) to a single child to whom your contributions are directed for, it was just a random act of kindness, I did my bit and i got details of my child (figuratively speaking).

Her name is Mary, she is a slum kid from the town of Vishakapatnam, India.Her father a day labor and her mother picks rags for a living.They have problems making ends meet.Even putting food on the table is an enormous task for them let alone afford education. Even clean clothes are a luxury.It just made me realize how blessed my childhood was, my family was able to provide me all the basic needs but still i used to crib about things i did not have. One needs to be thankful for the things one has !

The organization keeps you updated about the activities of the child and making sure the donations are put to good use. Yesterday i got an update from the child herself some drawings she made. It just made me so emotional for a bit. I just felt so connected to her in that moment, i just can't describe in words. It was just a feeling out of the world and to think it was just a random act of kindness !

I would urge whoever is reading this to do a random act of kindness and feel the feeling yourself. 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Beware of Dog

We all have came across people who deceive us, cheat on us, abuse us. How many of them do you get back at ? Or you just move on and forgive them ? I personally am more on the forgiving or at least moving on side but somethings can't just be overlooked.

So on this new year's eve i had a bad experience and i couldn't do much to actually get back at the guy who made me go through the embarrassment. In order to avoid anyone else from going through the same i would like to put up that horrible guy's picture here. I know this is mean but he deserves it !

The man in the picture usually goes by the name Shekku on
Resides in the east area of Delhi.
Speaks proficient English.


Steals stuff when your attention is diverted !

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I Swear ...

What's with men and swearing ?? Why can't a sentence be complete without a abuse embedded in it ? I just don't understand.Earlier i thought it was just straight guys who have the innate need of adding abuses in their dialogues but as it turns out gay men are no exception.I used to think maybe they just do it out of habit but i later realized (at least among Indian men) adding abuses to you script just shows your frankness and affection to your blokes. What i fail to understand is how passing indecent remarks for your mother or sister (most common Hindi abuses are mother f****r and sister f****r) can show your affection ? Men usually don't abuse when in company of women. So i always try to be in a group of mixed gender just to spare my ears the torture. Many a times men use abuses without even knowing the meaning which i found rather funny :D, let me share an incident.

There is a prominent Hindi slur which basically means to f**k your behind. Once when i was with a couple of straight people,a sad story of  a guy (unknown to the gathering) was being shared, apparently the guy was raped in jail by one of the inmates and was infected with HIV. So couple of guys from the gathering questioned how the guy could have received the virus since there can be no penetration between men.It suddenly hit me that how uneducated straight men are about alternate sexuality. I tried to explain to them about anal sex and then asked them, the abuse you throw around so much what do you think that means ? At this the guy replied 'oh !It refers to f***ing the ass, i thought it just meant spanking your behind'. At this most of the gathering burst out in laughter.

 Most people might argue what's wrong in using the abuses among friends if its not meant in the insulting way, my question is why to use them if they are not meant for the purpose they are coined for, to abuse !