I Feel Good

Hi everyone, i know its been a while since i blogged about anything , it had been a couple of all work no play weeks for me, so couldn't get myself to pen anything down. But I'm back and hopefully will be more frequent.

Now for the feel good factor, I went for a date after almost 2 years. Why the gap of 2 years you ask. Well the simple answer would be preparing. I had learned from my last relationship that i was not yet ready to handle a relationship. To be committed to someone in the true sense of it. Being a 'grown up' and not obsessing over silly things.  Hence i preferred to be friends with anyone i met.

Last week i finally went on a date , i was nervous, thrilled, excited and what not. The date went quiet good and i liked the guy a lot as well (blushess : ) ), i might get to meet him again this weekend. Anyways it felt so good to realize that i have finally grown up and meet someone as an adult and not some teenager desperate for attention. So wish me luck guys hope things turn out good :)

chaos for now, i know this is a small post but will be back with more for sure soon.

Is there More To Life than a relationship ?

Realizing i'm  gay and taking a decision of not getting married to a girl just to go with the social norms was something i had taken long way back when i was entering my high school life. I might have been naive at the time but i had made my mind to stick to the decision made. Since then my aim in life was to stand on my own feet and have a way of life which would empower me to have my way with life and not get burdened by family, relations, society may be thats why i don't have many close friends or good relations with my extended family. 

Later at some point in my life the need for a companion became so strong and it took over my life for better or for worse. My thought process turned to  'what is the use of having a life which might be successful when if you don't have someone to share it with' . So everything in my life took a back seat and finding the guy became my priority. In the pursuit i lost many things including my aim of having myself empowered so that i could do things as i please, i just wanted a companionship. Even with many futile attempts of having a relationship i kept my hopes up all during college life and when entering the professional life. The search had been in full gear for the past few months. 

Last week i had a chat with a friend and he made me realize that having a relationship is not whats life is all about specially in the gay world where commitment and fidelity are very hard to find, and i may be wasting my life not thinking about other things in my life. I should try to enjoy the finer things in life. At this point i am still not sure how will i be able to enjoy my life without having someone to share it with. I might need a whole  paradigm shift in my thinking. Hoping some guy someday will come into my life, i am now turning  my search down a notch . As of now i am trying to regain my habit of reading which i had lost in all the commotion of my 'search' , beginning  with Jeffrey Archer. Wish me luck.