Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Mourning period

What is an appropriate amount of time after a breakup that one can start meeting other people ?

"It depends, some people do it may be on the same night. Others might take months or years" was the response from a fellow gay soul. I agree to my friend that it does depend on person to person, there can be a number of other variables involved like the duration of the relationship, the intimacy of people involved etc. I myself believe that one should give oneself at least a month's time before stepping foot elsewhere. Although 1 month in normal world is 5 months in gay world so probably 1 week seems more appropriate to most people :P, i however stick to 1 month.

Things did not work out between the special someone i was interested in and it resulted in a breakup.I was the one who called it quits and i was still in my mourning period when i got to hear the other party has already starting doing the rounds on the date table. It did get me upset because attachments are attachments and its always hard to let go. I know i will move on eventually but still it forced me to think was i being too naive  in believing that i will find someone who will fit into the moulds i want my guy to be.

Compromises are always part of any growing relationship but where do you draw the line ? Having a relation with a married guy that's where i had to draw the line.No the special someone was not married yet but he would have eventually married a girl and settle for a straight life and i would have just became a secret in his life. That was a future which i was not ready to accept so i decided to end it before anyone became any more involved.

I must say initially i thought i would be the one who would come out of the morning period earlier because i was the one who ended the bond but as things turn out you can never say what the other person is feeling or going through. As i still wait for my mourning period to end , which i think is gonna last for more than a month now i am still hoping to find the one i seek, the one who is right for me. Oh where are thy my knight in shinning Armour ?


  1. If he has already started dating n he plans to lead a straight life...i have a feeling he wasn't in it for anything besides easy lay and someone to talk to...nothing more nothing less...and ur dream to go to a club would probably never come true with him!

    It's best that u move on and find sum1 truly worth of all ur awesomeness! Ur decision was the right one....have faith! :)

  2. @phunk thnks hope n faith is wat keeps the world going. Here's hoping so does mine..

  3. hey buddy.. believe me, let me tell you frankly, if you loved him for real, the mourning period would never end. You would never forget him. Yes the layers of time, may fade all those events from your memory.. which you cherished most.

    But believe me. .dont wait for this mourning to get over...

    Just start living your life... Live life.. for yourself.

    Unfortunately, we all have the same problem.... we all go through this sad period.. but then thats why friends are for...

    Be a sport buddy.. let him enjoy.. you can not control him.. be happy that he is happy.. and BE HAPPY too :)

  4. @yugyag Ya i know forgetting someone totally is never possibly one can try to cherish the gud moments one had and get on with life.

    Yes i know i can't control and i want him to be happy as well, i am not judging him or anything he has his own way of things n i have my own way dats it...

    Enjoying life n living for oneself boy thats gonna be a toughy.. may be i should take some pointer from u :)