Sunday, October 17, 2010

Blast From Past - The Lie

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Catch the previous chapters of the story here :


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The Lie


Oh god what did i do ! Why did i tell him ! I should kill myself ! Wait no what did i do ? I just told him the truth. I was prepared for this. He might not speak to me anymore but i couldn't keep it in any longer. May be this is for the best. While i was trying to console myself i was sure L also was going through a trauma digesting all this. I should give me some time to think things over. College continued and i tried to maintain my distance from him but i just couldn't and ended up trying to converse with him at many a time. L behaved as such nothing had happened between us at least in front of everyone but i could feel the distance between us. I was getting miserable day after day and i went into a shell not talking to anyone, not able to concentrate on studies and i started feeling depressed all the time. L must have noticed all this as did everyone else around me. L approached me one day in college and asked "Whats wrong with you ?"

I was so overwhelmed with emotions that i could feel  the waterworks beginning to start. I said nothing and went to the restroom to freshen myself up. I didn't attend the next class and L came looking for me in cafeteria where i usually used to sit to relax. "Why didn't you attend the class ? " L started.

"Nothing, was not feeling well. " I replied.
"You want to go to a doctor or something ?" L asked.
"No, I'm fine just the class is so boring i thought of skipping it."
"Jits i know you are upset since things are not normal between us, but you need to understand this is not easy for me either. I just can't handle when taunted with stupid remarks."
"I understand L, and i don't have anything against you."
"But they way you are nowadays ...."
"See L , i have feelings for you and i just told you because i didn't know what else to do. I know that you can't reciprocate them and i'm not asking you to. I know you can't , I can try to change these feelings L but its doesn't seem very much possible for me."

After hearing this L left and things remained the same for few days, then came some festival in college and celebrations were going on in college, while i was being my miserable self. L asked me to come with him. He had brought his car. He asked me to sit in it and took me for a drive.

A few minutes into the drive L said "I want to tell you something jits."
"All ears L "
"I am adopted jits."
"WHAT ! your kidding right ?"
"No, I'm not, the family i am living with adopted me when i was a few months old from an orphanage."
"Oh gosh ! L but your family loves you L, i don't think they ever feel you adopted."
"Ya they are nice people."
"But L you and your brother, you look so similar , how can you be adopted. "
"Well i had some surgeries "

I knew L was lying, he was not adopted, his looks so resembled to his brother and his father and no surgery can make you look so similar to someone. Why L was lying to me i didn't understand. I thought of playing along and nodded to whatever L was telling me.

We came back after the drive and college was about to get over i went to L to say my usual good bye and wished him bye. His reaction was surprising.

Friday, October 15, 2010

I Feel Good

Hi everyone, i know its been a while since i blogged about anything , it had been a couple of all work no play weeks for me, so couldn't get myself to pen anything down. But I'm back and hopefully will be more frequent.

Now for the feel good factor, I went for a date after almost 2 years. Why the gap of 2 years you ask. Well the simple answer would be preparing. I had learned from my last relationship that i was not yet ready to handle a relationship. To be committed to someone in the true sense of it. Being a 'grown up' and not obsessing over silly things.  Hence i preferred to be friends with anyone i met.



Last week i finally went on a date , i was nervous, thrilled, excited and what not. The date went quiet good and i liked the guy a lot as well (blushess : ) ), i might get to meet him again this weekend. Anyways it felt so good to realize that i have finally grown up and meet someone as an adult and not some teenager desperate for attention. So wish me luck guys hope things turn out good :)

chaos for now, i know this is a small post but will be back with more for sure soon.