Random Act Of Kindness

I have to admit i am not much of a person who loves kids. I prefer to admire the cuteness of a child from a distance. Having said that i wont say i don't have parental instincts, i would love to be a father someday, shoulder the amazing responsibility of this amazing life, to keep this life before yours and give it all the love and care. Still at the moment it seems far fetched , i think i am more self obsessed currently. So why am i talking about kids all of a sudden, well the a month back i came in touch with an NGO which works with kids.I got intrigued as it aligns you (as a donor) to a single child to whom your contributions are directed for, it was just a random act of kindness, I did my bit and i got details of my child (figuratively speaking).

Her name is Mary, she is a slum kid from the town of Vishakapatnam, India.Her father a day labor and her mother picks rags for a living.They have problems making ends meet.Even putting food on the table is an enormous task for them let alone afford education. Even clean clothes are a luxury.It just made me realize how blessed my childhood was, my family was able to provide me all the basic needs but still i used to crib about things i did not have. One needs to be thankful for the things one has !

The organization keeps you updated about the activities of the child and making sure the donations are put to good use. Yesterday i got an update from the child herself some drawings she made. It just made me so emotional for a bit. I just felt so connected to her in that moment, i just can't describe in words. It was just a feeling out of the world and to think it was just a random act of kindness !

I would urge whoever is reading this to do a random act of kindness and feel the feeling yourself. 

Beware of Dog

We all have came across people who deceive us, cheat on us, abuse us. How many of them do you get back at ? Or you just move on and forgive them ? I personally am more on the forgiving or at least moving on side but somethings can't just be overlooked.

So on this new year's eve i had a bad experience and i couldn't do much to actually get back at the guy who made me go through the embarrassment. In order to avoid anyone else from going through the same i would like to put up that horrible guy's picture here. I know this is mean but he deserves it !

The man in the picture usually goes by the name Shekku on planetromeo.com

Resides in the east area of Delhi.

Speaks proficient English.

And 

Steals stuff when your attention is diverted !

I Swear ...

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Opening Up !

Indian conservative society sure seems to be opening up to new horizons. I recently saw this ad in few of the leading dailies in India, It was hilarious, provocative and off course appealing to me as a gay guy, i mean why not it had well chiseled men in it.Although some call it obscene and vulgar, i just think it was funny and need to be taken in that stride. Which section of  consumers is this ad targeted ? I am still not sure but as a gay man i sure enjoy my eye candy ;) .

The striking down of 377 by Delhi high court sure was a landmark judgement and after that the society sure seems to be more tolerant. I agree we still have a long way to go to be accepted in the society but at least we don't have to live in fear now. Another news which made me all joyful was  'I am' winning the national award. Its based on one of the people who i admire the most, Harish Iyer. Vidya Balan was also decorated with the award for Best Actor (female) another personality i am in love with.

The movie by Onir who has made sensible movies related to gay issues like 'My brother nikhil', and I am consisting of four stories with one being related to gay issue just goes out to show that even Indian Cinema is acknowledging the gay presence. I came across the following news as well which opens up another shirt's button worn by society, so to speak ;). A mall exclusively for transgenders, wow that's bold ! 

http://www.hindustantimes.com/Entertainment/Tabloid/Now-a-mall-only-for-transgenders/Article1-822941.aspx

Well those were the candies now for the cough syrup, i did come across the following article as well regarding a bunch of religious extremists and so called moral police challenging the Delhi Court's reading down of 377.

http://www.dnaindia.com/lifestyle/report_whats-hiv-got-to-do-with-homosexuality_1663790

India which sure is a land of paradox what does the gay culture has in-store god only knows but here's hoping a brighter future.

Bad Streak

First of all , a very Happy and prosperous New Year to everyone out there !

The year went by was something of a roller coaster ride for me. I went from being at the pinnacle of happiness to the depths of mourning, from being single to committed and then miserable after the breakup. I also grew stronger, discovered traits in my character previously unknown. Got myself in an accident twice and survived without any scratches.  As the year came to an end i had mixed felling but then on the penultimate and on new year's eve a bad streak of luck just made me thankful that the year is finally bidding farewell.

1 day to New Year
Got off early from work and boarded a bus for a 5 hour long ride back to hometown for new years. Boy it was crowded and just when hoping some hunk will sit next to me a girl , a pretty as well came and sat next to me. Men around were checking her out for sure. I on the other hand had no interest so just went to sleep. I woke up with a sudden forward thrust only to realize the bus was putting on its breaks and then a loud thud from the front of the bus. We were involved in a accident with another public transport. Luckily i was not hurt unfortunately i cant say the same for the rest of the population on the bus. There was blood all around with people bleeding from their noses because of the sudden impact. The girl next to me was in pain as well, as i tried to clam her down my mind went to thinking what next ? How to get out of here, the bus was in no condition to transport anymore. We got down from the wheels of misfortune and looked for our alternatives after the ambulance and authorities arrived. The girl (being a girl) got a lift from a couple going in a car while others tried boarding the next bus which was passing by the highway in middle of nowhere. It was too crowded for me to make an attempt with bags in my hand. I tried my hand at getting a lift but all in vain. Then after 1 hour of waiting on the road in middle of nowhere i told myself to get into the next bus no matter what and i did finally reached home after a journey longer than what i had expected, thanking the god almighty that once again i survived a crash without getting hurt.

New Year's Eve
Finally at home still trying to get over the exhausting previous day of misfortune i got myself ready for a date with a guy i was in touch for sometime now. I met the guy , he seemed decent, well dressed and not bad in the looks department as well. We started chatting. Sat down to have a snack at an eatery in one of busy markets of the city. After getting to know each other it was time to say goodbye so i got up went to restroom leaving my jacket at the table. When i came back the guy had vanished with my jacket. First i thought maybe he stepped out so i tried calling his number but it went to voice mail. Then it hit me i had been mugged. I know i should be thankful it was just the jacket but still i am still confused why the guy put in effort of keeping in touch via text and calls just to meet and flee with a jacket. May be was just a kleptomaniac !

So that's how i ended my new year avoiding major disasters and getting robbed. I just hope the new year brings some good luck with it for me.

Happy Freaking New Year !

Happy Diwali

Its that time of year again for all the festivities, lights, sights, sweets, fireworks. Yes its diwali here in this part of the world and wishing you all out there a happy, joyous and prosperous diwali. Diwali is the festival of lights here in india where every  house is lit up and children burst crackers along with people creating rangoli (an folk art in india where intricate designs are made on the floor with colored powder or flowers)

Rangoli By yours truly (last year) 

This time around we are not celebrating diwali at our home in honor of a close relative who recently passed away. May the soul rest in peace. Still here's wishing everyone out there a beautiful Diwali !

Falling again

When does one realize that one has feelings for someone. Is it when the only person you can think about is that guy ?  Is it when all you want in a day is a smile from him ? Is it when you would cancel all your plans just so that you can spend time with him ? Well if these are the parameters then i sure have fallen for someone, big time. So whats the problem , well he's straight. This is not the first time i have fallen for a straight guy. There was L on whom i had written a whole series 'Blast From the Past'. However this new guy from  office whom i have these new found feelings for, reminds me more of another guy i had the hots for back in my college, Jewis.

Jewis was someone with whom i really got close on a personal level sharing all my fears and thoughts, even of being gay. He was very protective about me. Very helpful and someone with a very big heart. But maybe he was just being a good friend. This colleague of mine whom i have started feeling something reminds me of jewis again. I find myself drawing too many parallels between the two. This again started my train of thoughts, maybe he is also just being a good friend. I know this because both of them had/have girls in their life and have never shown any interest in me (well apart from a compliment here and there , that may be just a compliment). Come to think of it i never had any straight guy friend-friend sorts. Whichever straight guy got close to me i started falling for him. Maybe that's a fault line in my behavioral surface, i can't be just friends with a guy. May be i should think of a girl friend, that would be easier because at least i will not fall for them.


Although i do have gay friends but that's probably because of  i'm not interested in them in a dating sort of way. Oh boy that sounds so shallow :( I need to start working on myself to sort out things. Any advice people ?